Most of the post have been about two of the most important boys in my life, Hurleigh and Bentleigh, with a few pieces of another very important man, my husband. But there is one other man in my life that hold a very huge part in my heart. My dad.
I don’t even know where to start. I am his only child and a girl. So destined to be daddy’s girl right there. My parents got divorced when I was 3 and my mom moved us back to Minnesota. He stayed in Utah. So that meant only summers and every other christmas with him. When I think about it my attachment to him sometimes doesn’t make sense to me being that we got such little time together. But he was always there. When I broke my arm in first grade he flew to Minnesota to be with me. Not many men would do that. He spoiled me a lot. Basically everything I ever wanted he made sure I got, which is not always a good thing because I will admit I was a little brat LOL.
He was in the Air Force when him and my mom met. He is originally from Trinidad and they moved to NY when he was young. All of his family still lives in NY so his only family here is us. Everyone says he is really scary, he rarely smiles, he body builds so he has a large stature, and his voice is really deep. But he’s just a big softy. Get him around the boys and out comes the smiles and you can just see the pure joy in his eyes. That is one good quality he has. He is the best grandpa I could have ever asked for the boys. They both are so attached to him, reminds me of myself when I was little. They run to the door when he comes over and Bentleigh would live with him if I let him LOL. My mom says it was the same with him and I when I was little.
As I got older our relationship started to go a little south. I moved here after I graduated high school and in with him and his girlfriend. I was a teenager and she doesn’t have kids so you can only imagine how that went. And it was just them before. I wanted to spend time with my dad and she never had to share him. As you can imagine we butted heads. It ended up her blaming me for a lot of their “problems” and the reason they fought. Let’s be real here I wasn’t the whole problem. But I did make her life a living hell I’m sure. And now that I’m older and look back at how young and dumb I was I can admit that. But I’m also not stupid. I am very in tune with things that go on around me and I watched my dad go through women like they were going out of style. So I should have been a little easier on her cause I’m sure her relationship was not easy. I didn’t learn how to be in a good relationship from my parents let just say that LOL.
Does he still hold a special place in my heart. Yes and he always will. It’s really sad to admit, but as of right now I would say our relationship is still alive because of Bentleigh and Hurleigh. And it totally breaks my heart to say that. I still love him to death and I feel a strong sense to always be there for him since I am his only child, but if it weren’t for them I don’t think we would talk as much as we do. And he has admitted to that to. I sometimes feel like I have to force us to have a relationship outside of the kids. And it shouldn’t be like that. Sorry for the downer post!!! Maybe we should go to counseling to work on our issues LOL. But this is real life and while 99% of my life is seriously super amazing and great not all of it is rainbows and sunshine. This is within that 1%. I get my attitude from him so it’s hard to work on it when we both are hard-headed and stubborn LOL.
But I don’t want you to have a bad impression of him. Do we have a strained relationship that needs more than a little work, heck yeah. He is also one of the greatest men I know. And it is true you marry someone just like your dad, well at least all his good qualities. As a dad and grandfather he’s pretty great, if I wasn’t his daughter I would never be his friend LOL but he’ll always be my dad so no matter how strained or horrible our relationship gets I will always be a daddy’s girl.
And that my friends is personal. I wasn’t sure if I was going to go in that direction on this blog, but I am a real person. And I want you guys to know that. If it doesn’t get personal sometimes how will you ever learn that. So I hope you get a little glimpse into my life, and I’m sorry if you don’t like it. That’s me (: and these 4 men are a HUGE part of me. So thanks for reading.