This wasn’t the post I wanted to come back with. I have not posted in a while and was planning on coming back after the holidays with the announcement of adding another baby to our family. We found out I was pregnant and we were so excited to give Bentleigh and Hurleigh a new baby brother or sister. Sadly that is not the case.
The thought of a miscarriage never came to my mind. I had two healthy pregnancies and aside from early labor and severe morning sickness everything went just as planned. I knew miscarriages happened, but I never thought in a million years it would happen to me.
You see it everyday. Your heartbreaks for those that have to go through it, but you never fully understand the magnitude of the situation. I never realized how horrible and empty you feel. Everything makes you think of the baby you will never carry in your arms. You suddenly notice all the beautiful pregnant bellies walking around that you would have never noticed before. Every show with a newborn or a woman having a baby is hard to watch. The positive pregnancy test you got is now just a remind of your pain.
I hate that this has to happen to anyone. I hate that Bentleigh doesn’t understand why we can’t go see the baby. That you don’t know how to tell those that knew you were pregnant that your not anymore. That I had to tell my husband on thanksgiving that the new baby he was thankful for will not be coming.
So I come here. To my happy place. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. My body and my heart hurts, but it believe everything happens for a reason. I will grow from this and while the pain will never fully leave my heart, we will move on and remember to cherish every moment we can with each other as a family. I am blessed with two healthy boys and I cant be thankful enough for them.
I am sorry if I will be gone for a while. I just need to take some time to deal and clear my head. I promise I will be back. Love you all!